Funny Jokes

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it,  circled, and held up a
handwritten sign that said “WHERE AM I?”
in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the
aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window.Their sign
said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.”

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer
to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the
copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

“I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building , because they gave me a
technically correct but completely useless answer .”

Problem Situation:

Friday night in the comforts of your home. Looking ahead for a happy weekend.

You suddenly remember that you are going to receive an important mail from onsite, on Friday EOD their time i.e. Saturday morning our time, for which you have to reply. The contents of the mail is not the problem.

You know you could reply in your comforts of your home using webaccess.

The Big Bang. You forgot to close Outlook and the mail will sink into your PST.

Solution 1:
Go to office first thing on Saturday morning just to close outlook or reply to the mail if it has already arrived.

Solution 2:
Send an email on Friday night to your own email ID, which is preconfigured to close Outlook in your machine.

Cool…right?… So how do you do it?

Open Notepad
Type “tskill outlook”         //without the quotes
Save it as closeoutlook.bat, in a secure location

Open Outlook
Go to Tool-> Rules and Alerts
Choose “New Rule”
In the “Rules Wizard” popup choose “Start from a blank rule”. Leave the default option of “Check message when they arrive”. Click Next.
Tick “with specific words in the subject or body”. Click on “specific words” at the window and type a text like “kindlyclosemyoutlook”. Click Next.
In the new options pane, tick “start application”. Choose the “closeoutlook.bat” file by browsing. By default it will show only *.exe files I the browse panel. Choose all files to view your file.
Click Next and then Finish.
Voila! You are done.

Test it by sending a mail to yourself with the text “kindlyclosemyoutlook” in your mail subject or body.
Enjoy Happy Weekends Ahead!!!

Open the Internet explorer Copy the above code and paste it in address bar of the browser.

javascript:function flood(n) {if (self.moveBy) {for (i = 15; i > 0; i–){for (j = n; j > 0; j–){self.moveBy(1,i);self.moveBy(i,0);self.moveBy(0,-i);self.moveBy(-i,0); } } }} flood(6);{ var inp = ” hgniS kehsihbA morF .ecnavda ni ilawiD yppaH ,iH”;var outp = “”; for (i = 0; i <= inp.length; i++) { outp = inp.charAt (i) +outp ; } alert(outp) ;}; reverse();