Funny Jokes

Calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to  buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

To

The Chairman,
Software Firm,

Bangalore

Sir ji,

Binti eh hai ki aj kal company vich dil nahi lagda te raat nu neend nahi andi kyonki company vich munde bore ne, jo hai oh sab eniyan ajeeb ne ki dekhan nu ji ni karda.Te manageran v koih khas ptaka nahi haan. Hor ni koch taan munde hi sohne rakh lavo taa ki nave joinees kaam leyyee motivate ho sakan .

Aap ji da bahut dhanayawda howanga.

Your faithfully,

Kudi Association

One day , at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin tight miniskirt.
When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little.
She still could not reach the step.

Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more.
Still, she couldn’t reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn’t reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus.

The girl turned around furiously and said, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don’t even know you!”
Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma’am, after you reached around and unzipped my pants three times, I thought that we were friends.”